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Hate

Are you hated?

Who do you hate?


WHY ARE YOU HATED?

Print this topic.
Then circle the words that describe you.

Sex:
Male
Female
Other
Race:
Black
Brown
Yellow
White
Red
Mixed
Schooling:
Primary
Secondary
B.A.
M.A.
Ph.D
Employment:
None
Employee
Employer
Professional
Executive
Finances Class:
Upper
Middle
Lower
Sexual Orientation:
Homosexual
Heterosexual
Other
Position on War:
Dove
Hawk
Moderate
Political Values:
Conservative
Liberal
Moderate
Religion:
None
Protestant
Catholic
Jewish
Muslim
Other
Religious Values:
Conservative
Moderate
Liberal
Citizenship:
U.S.
Other
Region:
North
South
East
West
Midwest


Each word you circled is a reason you are hated and feared.


WHO DO YOU HATE?

Now put a square around the words that describe the people you hate.

Notice how hard it is to admit that you hate.

If you don't hate, that's great.
But if you hate and can't even admit it to yourself, that's scary.


HOW HATE WORKS

Let's say I'm a San Francisco native driving through the South for the first time.
While in a small town I cause an accident and completely ruin a parked Lexus.
The owner runs out of her house screaming at me.
There is no way to get away from her until I absorb her vile opinions of me,
her threats, and the strong smell of alcohol on her breath.

Will I hate women, Southerners, Lexus owners,
small town residents, drinkers, or all of these people afterwards?

That depends on whether I make a vow to stay angry or not.

If I believe in hate,
I will make that kind of vow.
If I don't believe in hate,
I'll just be angry with this one person for a while.

Anger is a healthy, immediate reaction to specific events.
It protects us in the moment.
Hate is an unnecessary, self-limiting vow we make
to remain angry
long after the anger is spent.

We feel relief soon after an angry event.

We can feel burdened for life
if we vow to hate and never take it back.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN HATE?

We are at war as I write this
so the obvious question for Americans is:
"Do you hate the enemy?"

Their spokesmen have said they hate us,
they have committed unspeakable atrocities against us,
and they have vowed publicly and repeatedly to kill us.

How can we not hate them?

We can be furious at them for what they have done.
And we can do everything in our power
- including killing them if necessary -
to protect ourselves from them in the future.

But we don't have to burden ourselves with hate.

Think about two soldiers facing the same life and death situation.
Both are afraid.
One is filled with hate and the other is just angry.
Who will exercise the better judgment?
Who is most likely to survive?
If they both return home, who will have the better life?


HATE AND YOUR FUTURE

If you hate anyone at all,
then you must believe hate is good for you.

How is it good for you?

Does it give you better judgment?
Can it save your life?
Does it make you happy?


IT'S NOT COMPLICATED

Anger protects.
Hate destroys.

If you have vowed to hate, be kind to yourself.
Take back your vow now.

Please Tell Your Friends About This Site.

Enjoy Your Changes!

Everything here is designed to help you do just that!

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Write To Me, I Want To Hear From You!
Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist (Milwaukee) 

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